The key to coping with stress is found in the process we call stress enhancement. This process means we react to changes and challenges in our lives in ways that maximize positive emotions, motivations, and outcomes. We do so by learning to control only what we can: our thoughts and actions. Stress enhancement uses negative events to motivate us to take positive actions. We will fail if we react to negative events by avoiding, denying, or trying to control events that bring us problems and stress. Satisfactory living means attacking our stressors to produce positive results out of negative events.
Stress enhancement means stress should not be seen as something harmful and threatening that we should avoid. Stress enhancement is the opposite of stress avoidance. Stress can be used to promote psychological health and growth. The energy from stress can be diverted into positive channels, facilitating better performance, relationships, self-esteem, and general lifestyle. Stress is crucial in preparing us to adapt better to many situations. Stress allows us to increase our focus, prepare more efficiently, and give our best in a variety of situations.
I believe that if you ever feel stressed out, rather than trying to commit suicide, you should just talk to someone about your problems because the person will always help calm you down. My friend commited suicide because of stress. If he had only talked to me or one of his other freinds, he might still today be living a great life. Even though he was my friend and I was upset, I had to put my life into perspective to get over this bad event and deal with my grief in this terrible time. How can someone's life be so bad at such a young age to make him commit suicide?
ReplyDeletePhilsfan1, we both know that neither you nor I can answer that question. A bad life can’t be the cause of suicide; it’s the perspective on the life. I have been on both sides of the spectrum, both lines almost crossed. I had almost lost a good friend of mine and I had almost lost myself.
ReplyDeletePeople often feel trapped, no matter how much freedom they have. It’s when we’re by ourselves thinking about reality that it scares us, trapping us even more, to the point where the future is too far away or ceases to exist. The instinct here is that people want to escape.
Talking about a situation where a person’s life is attached can cause more stress. We can try to pry the words out of their mouths, influence their choice. Ultimately, it’s up to the person in question to speak out.
Stories like your friend’s are eye-catchers to bystanders. To the people who knew and cared for him, it’s a rude awakening. The question to the suicidal is…how do we notice when they hide it so well?” The question to us is…how truthfully do they answer the “how are yous?”
In response to the last post, the question how do we notice when they hide it so well? Yes, it is true that sometimes they hide it well, but I feel we do not notice sometimes and other times we just truly do not want to notice the signs. We might notice some signs such as weight loss, change in personality, and them just not being themselves. As we see these sings, we might not think anything at first, but we may be afraid to act. We may not want to get involved, or we can't believe our friend could be considering suicide, much less actually do it.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to reach out to our troubled friends. If we ask how they are they may think we're trying to be polite or just making small talk. Their emotions are so mixed up, our they have no emotion at all, that they can't tell the truth. If friends would be more honest, maybe we could get them help before they actually hurt themselves. In most cases, however, they don't feel we want to listen or help them deal with their problems. They feel that if they are not noticed they will be able to fade away.
We can never be certain that someone who tries to commit suicide and fails will not succeed some day. When we know someone who seems emotionally disturbed and threatens to commit suicide we should try to get him/her help.
I think that people who say they are too stressed and who fall into depression because of it do not have a problem with the amount of stress in their lifestyles so much as how they direct it. Of course when a person has a jam-packed schedule of things to do, there is a higher tendency for stress due to overwork, but there are also many people who love having all kinds of different activities going on at once. The opposite is also possible; some people enjoy leading a relaxed lifestyle, and others get restless and bored when they don’t have anything to do. It all depends, I think, on the individual’s personality and way of coping with stress. Confidence may also have a hand in it; people are less nervous when they are prepared and know that they will do well. But maybe it’s the other way around, and lack of anxiety is why people know that they will do well.
ReplyDeleteA former singer and actor in T.V. commercials told me that he was nervous at first about performing, but that he channeled his anxiety and stress into determination to succeed. Some of my classmates who like singing, dancing, and acting tell me the same thing. I guess that’s the upside of stress: to pressure people into performing to the best of their abilities. But why do humans have stress, anyway? What is the biological or psychological need for it? I mean, some people thrive under it, but many find it suffocating.
Stress and worry could elevate the human dynamic because it shapes our personalities and tells us what is important and what is not. For example, I would be more stressed if my dog died than if I had a quiz in school the next day. But this might just be a by-product. The basic human need for stress continues to be a mystery to me.
“Why do humans have stress?” This is a very good question. There are many reasons. Stress is a response of our body and mind to cope with many challenges and changes that threaten our health and happiness. We all live in a world that has many obstacles, and our world is not perfect. We all have dreams on how we wish our lives can be, but our dreams do not always come to be.
ReplyDeleteWe must learn to cope with stress in our everyday lives. Our bodies react to stress every day. Some examples of stress are high blood pressure, stroke, heart and lung problems, and many more. Sometimes our bodies are exposed to too much stress, and we cannot deal with the pain and depression. That is when we must pay attention to what is happening to us and reach out for help. We must overcome the fear of failure, humiliation, and rejection. We must take charge of our lives before it is too late. Life provides numerous demands that can be difficult to handle, but we can learn to manage our anxiety and maintain overall well-being.
I agree with philsfan1 in that stress can be our bodies' physiological response to psychological stimuli, such as getting tense when we are scared. A lot of times, like if someone is scared of public speaking, getting tense will not help, but if someone is afraid of an animal attack or a criminal on the loose, the extra caution and vigilance would be useful. This "fight-or-flight" syndrome seems like it could be something that was shaped and that evolved in the early years of humanity; early humans experienced animal attacks and fires, in which people with fight-or-flight sydrome would be more likely to survive, but they did not face modern things like public speaking.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure, though, whether the fight-or-flight syndrome is really the same thing as stress. They seem a little different because stress is more like the general feeling of being overworked, whereas fight-or-flight syndrome is the body's response to stressful events. For example, I could be stressed if I have a big piano recital that I need to practice for, but the fight-or-flight syndrome does not kick in until I get on stage. I could also be stressed about having a lot of homework to do, but then I would not even get fight-or-flight syndrome. Maybe stress is the cause for fight-or-flight or just amplifies the anxiety of the moment.
I noticed that whenever I do something stressful, like make a speech or perform at an audition or recital, I cannot remember it afterward. I know that it happened, and I can vaguely remember the moments just before and after the stressful event, but I cannot remember the actual performance. I don't know why, but I thought that maybe it is because when I am stressed, the fight-or-flight syndrome puts quick-decision-making and action-related parts of my brain in action while shutting down things like memory. Does anyone else have an idea as to why I forget stressful things? And does this happen to anyone else?
I once saw an episode of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations set in Namibia, where the desert setting is remote. The majority of the show focused on a particular tribe and their eating habits. I watched as a member of the tribe took animal intestines and squeezed out fecal matter with their hands. A fire was set up and the intestine was placed on the rocks next to it. There was another scene where someone dug a hole in the ground and placed hot rocks inside for some minutes. He took a very large egg, mixed it within the shell, and poured it into the hole after the rocks were taken out. When it was cooked, everyone proceeded to eat the finished product, sand and all.
ReplyDeleteAfter watching that particular episode, a question came to mind: If you had a choice, who would you rather be, someone who is able to have anything tangible but with so much stress you couldn’t handle it, or, a member of a tribe like the one in Namibia, where the only thing you needed to think about was how to feed yourself for the day? I had asked a world history teacher about three years ago. His answer was that no matter how long you think about it, you would always choose to be in your own situation. I think that’s what people should be thinking, that we are not the unfortunate ones. We have everything we need sitting somewhere. All we have to do is reach.
In class we learned about how humans move through stress. Something happens, we decide how we should feel about it, and then we react accordingly. We learned about how people often try to change the stressful situation (the first part of stress), when what we really need to change is our appraisal of the situation (the second part). I think that what people also do a lot is mess with the third part of stress: the reaction. How many times are we told to just "grin and bear it" or "put on a smile" even though we are stressed? When people are already stressed, they have a choice in their reactions; they can either let it all out, which is the option that is often looked down upon, or lock up their emotions and likely lash out later. A lot of people say to go with the first option, but then shake their heads when they see someone who gets grouchy and mean every time they are stressed out. So what society really wants, I guess, is for everyone to be happy - or at least look happy. We are taught to please society and act carefree even when we feel different, but then there are always those stories about people with emotional issues because they "bottled up their feelings." I'm not sure where I stand on the subject, but I think that it would be better if people were not stressed in the first place. If they changed their mindset and how they appraise the situation, their reactions might be more positive. I agree that we shouldn't get too robotic, that we should keep even our negative emotions because that's what makes us human; however instead of thinking, "Oh no, there's a test, what am I going to do?", we could get rid of the excessive emotions and instead channel our stress into actions. Instead of wasting energy worrying about the test, we could think, "Well, there's a test, and it might be really difficult, so I'm going to go study now." This kind of thinking also sounds more "in control" because now we have a plan about how to handle the situation. Any other opinions?
ReplyDeleteIn response to muffinmonster, we all can forget somethings on occasion. We all get very busy and have a lot of problems, and things on our minds that cause us to get out of whack and forget things. Some problems can be, being over-tired, or stressed out over money, work, or relationship problems that we tend to forget many things in our life. Another reason could be sleep deprivation or REM sleep. If people do not get enough sleep they tend to walk around in the days and not be able to concentrate. Some times we are just so overwhelmed that our subconscious just shuts down and the stress pushes things out of our memory.
ReplyDeleteWe need to find a balance in our lives. We need to balance work and the everyday changes that occur in our lives. We must be ready for changes that are about to happen. We must switch our attention away from the pain, unhappiness and depression and find a way to avoid these unexpected stressful events. We need to be aware that stress is a fact of life. We can make some of it go away or try to ignore it, but eventually we will have to deal with it. All of us need to realize that stress and worry are a big part of life and can lead to depression. Also depression and stress can stop us from enjoying our lives. We have to relax and love life before it is too late
Rachel Simon says: In response to what muffinmonster said earlier, I also believe that those under stress should have a better mindset in dealing with stressful situations. An optimistic outlook on things can completely flip the situation around. There are some people who simply do not want to make an effort to be happier. These people have grown to have such a pessimistic attitude that in the event that something typically pleasing is presented to them, they are so consumed with their own problems they will still be unhappy. People under stress need to become more self aware and personally address the problem in order to make it better, because outsiders cannot see all of the problems that are troubling them. I also agree with the statement that, as humans, having negative emotions is necessary. In situations where one is feeling very negative, the person needs to take time to sort out his emotions and decide whether it is rational or irrational to be feeling that way. After doing so, I believe that most people would find that they have less of a problem than they originally thought, because people already under stress tend to make big deals out of small problems. This method can lead to solutions of the small problems that have been building up. In the end, a lot of stress is reduced. And as philsfan said, proper balance is needed in our lives. If someone has a very stressful day, that person should try to treat himself to something that will make up for the stress. Rest and relaxation are obviously necessary, and with a proper amount of rest, one will have a clearer mind to deal with his problems. This can also help to balance out stress in one's life.
ReplyDeletePsychstudent says: Although none of my friends and no one in my family has committed suicide I understand how hard it would be to cope with that. My friend's uncle committed suicide a few years ago. Unfortunately, she is constantly reminded of the occurrence. For example, when students do something wrong it is quite natural for them to exclaim, "I'm going to kill myself! They don't necessarily mean to offend, but are just using a common figure of speech. However, from experience with my friend I found that sometimes that comment can be taken personally. How is something as serious as suicide taken so lightly for a person to use a phrase such as, "I'm going to kill myself"?
ReplyDeletebookworm3 says: I have to agree with you, muffinmonster37. I do perform in musicals, and the stress of wanting to put on a good show pushes me to do the best that I possibly can. This stress for me reaches its height in the final weeks or so before production. If there is something I need to work on, I am very stressed because it is something I either don't know or something I am unfamiliar with. However, that stress pushes me to improve what needs to be improved, so I can give the best that I can to the audience in front of me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, too much stress can be a bad thing, just as too much of a carefree attitude can be a bad thing. As humans, we need some kind of balance when it comes to stress I think. If there is too much stress, we can become irritable, or we could even be pushed so far that we would have a mental breakdown. This could possibly lead to suicide if we can't cope with the stress of our busy lives. That is where the balance comes in. We need to find something that we enjoy that helps us unwind and lose the stress of our lives for a little while. For me, performing in shows is partially a release of stress. I enjoy the feeling of being on stage, that I release my stress in the form of singing, or even playing piano music.
There is still one thing I have trouble comprehending. Why do people insist on becoming workaholics at very stressful jobs, such as stock brokers on Wall Street, where they could lose millions in a single day at work? They completely immerse themselves in this line of work, without providing a form of relaxation for themselves in many cases. In my mind, this is a breakdown or a suicide waiting to happen. I just wish I understood why people would put themselves through something like that, because I'm pretty sure money isn't the only factor in that equation.
moviefan5 says: I think we have stress to help us to work harder. If you think about it we mostly get stressed when there is a lot on our mind, when we have many things that need to be accomplished. Stress helps us work hard to get them done, and since we don't want to feel stressed again it helps encourage us to continue to work hard.
ReplyDeleteWhat causes depression? One major environmental trigger can be bullying, which can cause depression and teenage suicides. Teen suicide is now commonly called "bullycide," a suicide caused by bullying. Some say there is no definite evidence that bullying makes kids more likely to kill themselves, but research shows that victims of bullying are two to nine times more likely to report suicidal thoughts than other children.
ReplyDeleteCyber-bullying is becoming more widespread in our society. Some say cyber-bullying is responsible for the Columbine High School massacre and the Virgina Tech killings. We need to grasp the cause and effect relationship between the bullying and the suicidal attempts. When we see kids who are targets of bullying, be it verbal, social, or physical, we need to ask them if they are thinking about hurting themselves or anyone else. We should try to evaluate and prevent these things from happening. Bullying threatens our children's physical and mental health. Children who are bullied will continuously come up with more and more excuses not to go to school. They will develop stomach pain, headaches, fatigue, and other stress reactions. Can rejection and ridicule from peers cause too much stress for our teens? What can we do to reduce the risk of the stressful situation? STOP BULLYING.
Some people see stress as an enemy. The word stress alone can make some people feel nervous, uneasy and paranoid. However, stress is a fact of life. The question is not how can we get rid of stress, but how can we deal and handle our stress when it appears? As moviefan5 said, stress makes us work harder. I agree. Stress is actually a motivator that keeps us going both physically and mentally. Stress keeps us on our toes and helps us keep our lives in order. The next time you feel tense and stressed, use that stress to your advantage to accomplish what needs to be done and motivate yourself. Use the energy to good use and make the stress work for you instead of making it work against you. Stress is not our enemy unless we let it be. Stop feeling sorry for yourself or blaming things on stress, and use it as a helper to get things done.
ReplyDeletestevenashfan13 says:
ReplyDeleteMy comment is in response to philsfan1. I agree that bullying needs to be addressed to lower the number of depressed or suicidal children and teens. From my experiences, bullying is rarely discussed in schools until an incident occurs. Schools should be educating students on the dangers of bullying before something tragic happens, and the education should begin at an early age. Schools should also enforce no-tolerance bullying policies with clear-cut punishments for offenders. This would not only decrease bullying incidents but also show victims that they are not alone. When victims of bullying know that schools and peers are on their side, they feel less depressed and avoid much of the stress that comes with feeling like an outcast. The number of children and teens killing themselves, switching schools, feeling they are worthless, or developing suicidal tendencies is far too high for society to continue to ignore bullying. I recently saw that ABC Family, which has a very large teenage audience, is going to have a new show called "Cyberbullying." I hope the show can raise awareness of the severe problem that bullying has on young people's mental and physical health.
bookworm3 says: I'm commenting on the remarks made by both philsfan1 and stevenashfan13 regarding cyberbullying. We had a police officer come to our school to talk to us about victims of cyberbullying.The officer described these teens and what pushed them over the edge. When a picture bearing the words "ugly" or "loser" is put up on a social networking site like Facebook, these pictures are all over the internet, and may eventually end up all over the victim’s school. This creates enormous stress on these kids.They may become cut off from the rest of their classmates and feel no one can talk to them to make them feel better or make the bullying stop. When this happens, the victims go into avoidance mode, which we talked about in class.The avoidance may eventually get so severe, the victim commits suicide.
ReplyDeleteThese kids were not reached in time to be saved. Although the cyberbullies may be prosecuted for causing the suicides, this is not enough to satisfy the parents. No amount of retribution will bring back their dead child. Guidance offices need to get to children before something happens. Elementary schools need to talk to their students from day one when they walk in the building. Guidance counselors also need to be on the lookout for students who are seemingly cut off from the rest of the class This will save many kids who end up committing suicide from the stress of dealing with cyberbullying.
Also, measures need to be taken to let kids know they are not alone, and that there are positive ways to handle stress. If these messages get across, I believe the suicide rates for children who are victims of cyberbullying will go down. I have not seen the show "Cyberbully" on ABC Family, but if it attacks the problem of cyberbullying the way it handled the problem of teen pregnancy in "Secret Life of the American Teenager," then this show will help many kids coping with the stress of bullies, both in real-life and in cyberspace.
moviefan5 says: I agree that schools should educate their students about bullying but I feel more than just that needs to be done. Children also need to be taught how to fight bullies off. This is because even if someone told a bully the psychological effect of what he is doing to someone else, I doubt the bully would stop.
ReplyDeleteRegarding bookworm3’s comment, it wasn’t that the victims weren’t reached in time—they never reached out. It is incredibly easy to suggest steps to prevention, but the proposals can’t be accomplished without the cooperation of the individuals in need of help. You can’t help someone unless they want to be helped. Others can only contribute to a person’s decision about what they want to do with themselves. There are programs in school where they introduce the topic of suicide to young students. Could programs like these actually contribute to the thought of suicide?
ReplyDeletemoviefan5 stated that children needed to be taught how to fight bullies off. I believe recognition of a child’s own insight in a positive way is more effective than confrontation with the bully. Content within oneself is more important than a potential eternal dual with another person. When someone does commit suicide, people associated with said person often have the irrational tendency to blame themselves. They believe they’ve contributed to the individual’s actions. Is this guilty reaction part of the healing process? Is there really anyone to blame?
What bookworm3 is saying reminds me of the optimal arousal theory of motivation from the Motivation chapter in our textbooks. There needs to be a balance in order for people to do their best in a situation. There should be enough motivation and arousal for us to want to do something, but not so much that we are overwhelmed. Another interesting part of what bookworm3 says is that performing on stage has become a release of stress. As I said earlier, maybe the reason why people cope better with stress after experience is that they are better prepared and therefore more confident. They recognize stress and remember they survived it before, like white blood cells "remembering" a certain illness and then attacking when it comes around again.
ReplyDeleteIn response to bookworm3's question about stockbrokers and workaholics, I do not think there is any one answer. Maybe they love the thrill of success, which makes them forget about their losses. They could also have grown up with the mindset of "the harder I work, the better off I will be," which is not invalid, but often misinterpreted. Working at something can build a sense of pride and accomplishment, but working to spend quality time with family is important as well as business work. I can relate to the mindset of "the more I work, the better" because, though I do not classify myself as a workaholic, I often feel I can do no wrong as long as I am working hard. I need to keep reminding myself that just because I am working at something does not mean I can let everything else go without feeling guilty.
Defender says: I feel that stress, anxiety, and depression can be dealt with without using psychiatric medication to a point. With therapy and talking one on one with a psychologist to address the issue, the patient may be able to cope by talking about his or her problem and accepting the issue at hand. The psychologist may decide that talk therapy would be enough to help the patient learn to deal with his or her problem without the help of drugs. If the problem is too severe and the patient is considered a danger to themselves or others, the psychologist may deem it necessary to work with a psychiatrist in prescribing medication as an extra aid to deal with their issue.
ReplyDeleteAs I said before, and what we all know to be true, is that stress is part of our everyday lives. We all have stress from the beginning of our lives. As children, sometime, we do not notice the stress. As we grow our stress grows with us. Stress can take many forms, such as the little upset feeling in our stomachs to the bullying that occurs in our schools. We all must try to take control of the situation before the stress will get out of hand. We need to learn to handle our stress and let some positive come out of it, not just the negative. Stress will try to take over our lives if we let it. An example is suicide. We must be strong enough not to let the bullies and the terror of stress take over, helping the negative win. Can our teens fight the pressures of their peers? Yes. Let's teach our society to overcome this.
ReplyDeletepinkstar says: To answer your question, philsfan1.. Sometimes your friends' lives aren't always as good as yours or others and they become depressed about different problems. They may have issues and don't know how to deal with them. Also, they don't know how to ask someone for help because they are young, scared, and don't know how to tell someone what they are going through. My sister's friend also commited suicide at a young age, and she never told anyone that she was depressed, or even acted like it. One day she just commited suicide, and left a note saying she had no one to turn to. She must have felt like the only way to deal with her depression was by dying instead of getting help. Can it be possible to feel so alone that you can't even talk to anyone about something so serious in your life?
ReplyDeletestudent12 says: I agree with Defender's statement that if patients are a danger to themselves or others, medication is necessary. The important thing is to not develop a dependency on it, which of course is very difficult. I know someone who goes to a therapist for depression and anxiety. Whenever he starts to feel anxious, he feels the need to take a pill and/or smoke a cigarette. Neither is healthy, but he has developed a dependency on them. However, unlike most teenagers, he told his parents about his feelings and got a therapist. Many take it upon themselves to deal with the problem and don't tell others, which can lead to many different kinds of self destructive tendencies. The best thing people can do for themselves when being stressed is to confront the problem immediately and see how severe it is. They should get help as soon as possible so that their problem can be dealt with immediately with less need for medication.
ReplyDeletestevenashfan13 says: My comment is in response to Curt4in5. You said when someone commits suicide, friends and family have the irrational tendency to blame themselves. I don't think that this tendency is irrational. A person must be severely depressed to take his own life and feel there is nothing left to live for. People who were close to someone who committed suicide must be left wondering how they could have missed signs of such depression in their friend. They are shocked and confused that they didn't recognize such extreme problems. These people did not directly cause the individual to commit suicide, so it seems irrational that they would feel guilt; however, they can't help feeling responsible for not picking up on small signals that their friend was suicidal. It is a tragic situation for everyone involved: someone felt so alone and helpless that he ended his own life, and everyone who cared for that person has to wonder if they could have have done something to prevent it. All we can do is be a positive figure in the lives of our loved ones and always offer our support and encouragement in the hopes that no one we value will ever feel alone.
ReplyDeleteTo philsfan1: Although telling people not to bully others is simple, that may not work. Chances are, they have had some experience in their past that has affected them and has caused them to feel like they need to be in control of others. They could have been abused as a child, or gone through a traumatic experience in adolescence. Simply telling them to be nice will not be effective. They would probably have to go through therapy or counseling for them to stop bullying others.
ReplyDeletePsychstudent says: In response to Philsfan1, I believe teens can fight off peer pressure. However they have to be willing to try. Sometimes it's easier for a teen to just say yes than to stand firm and say no. I agree that schools should educate children about fighting peer pressure and cyberbullying. However, one can not rely on a school to do so. This education should start at home. One should learn that it is okay to be different. If teens can accept who they are, they will face fewer problems in highschool.
ReplyDeleteMadysen Jones wrote:
ReplyDeleteTo answer your question, philsfan1.. Sometimes your friends' lives aren't always as good as yours or others and they become depressed about different problems. They may have issues and don't know how to deal with them. Also, they don't know how to ask someone for help because they are young, scared, and don't know how to tell someone what they are going through. My sister's friend also commited suicide at a young age, and she never told anyone that she was depressed, or even acted like it. One day she just commited suicide, and left a note saying she had no one to turn to. She must have felt like the only way to deal with her depression was by dying instead of getting help. Can it be possible to feel so alone that you can't even talk to anyone about something so serious in your life?